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Relativity I

I go through the motions
Loosing track of time
Hours, days, weeks means nothing to me
A week might last a day
A day might last week
A week might last a month
And vice versa
I blink my eyes once and suddenly 24 hours has passed
It's the day after now
And I don't even know what happened
What I did in the day before

II

Everytime I think about the world and existence
I close my eyes and all of sudden I have no body
I am just a portion of atoms flying around the space
I feel the world is not there anymore
I open my eyes
And the world is still there
But I feel something is not quite right
I do

Delicious HeartbreakI want to cut through your flesh,
Gouge apart tissue and bone,
Feel the slippery reel of your insides,
Dancing and sliding over my fingers.

To take a knife,
And feel the flaccid flow,
Of gore against my face.

Opened at the heart
Choruses of angels expel from the wound,
The wound I created.

Deliciously damaged.
Horrifically heartwarming.

Where shall I place the knife?
In your chest some more?
Perhaps in your back.

AttackMost think it begins with a thought.
Not even.
It starts even smaller.
Just the fragment of a thought,
a morsel of thought.

A single, tiny, microscopic little seed of a thought that when watered with a little anxiety and exposed to the light of a dysfunctional brain becomes this thorned and twisted little vine that begins in the pit of your stomach. Sinuous, scraping, it winds it's way around your throat and you find you cannot breath. It makes it's way into your brain, drilling holes on it's way making you feel faint and dizzy and disheartened and cold and hot all at the same time. As it grows, it's roots wrap around your heart and

The Beauty Of A LieTell me lies, tell me what I want to hear,
The known solution before the universal fear,
Tell me, the bank account is full,
That without a drop of blood, you get wool,
Tell me, every piece of rubbish has a home,
That, no grandparent has to ever be alone,
Tell me, cars preform without the pollution,
That, gods hand is the same as evolution,
Tell me, that no child has to hide,
That, differences co exists on the same side,
Tell me, that we accept more then we have seen,
That, a gun can only exists in my dream,
Tell me, love is more powerful then hate,
That, god doesn't discriminate when standing at heavens gate,
Tell me, food sourc

Desire for the BladeI don't want to
But I still
Feel it there

Yearning
Pleading
Begging

Crawling beneath my skin
Endless calling
As I feel the tears
Start to escape

I want to weep
Another way
Through simple
Intricate slices
Crimson drops
Flowing down
Paper skin
Until it all needs to be
Stitched back together

let's play suicide"i'm sorry."

"for what?"

"i just want to end it."

"...end what?"

"my life."

"oh."

"say you'll miss me."

-

i was six years old

and

he was not too young to do it

and

i continued to play life after

and

he was 13 years old.

-

"i'll miss you."

"now cover your ears."

"why?"

"it'll be loud."

"what will be loud?"

-

i wish i covered my eyes

and

i heard bangbangbang everywhere

and

my ears never stopped hurting since

and

my white dress was ruined by ruby dots.

-

"my death."

"what kind of game is this?"

"...game over, kiddo."

Just One More...One more shot,
One more pill,
One more hit,
I can't help it.

Another night,
Another needle,
Another high,
I need it.

One more pipe,
One more bong,
One more joint,
They keep me going.

Another paycheck,
Another grand,
Another kilo,
I'm in the streets.

One more hit,
Another high,
My last overdose,
It took my life.

Medicated Sanity.

I don't like medication. Yes, it has made me feel better. But only by distracting me from my thoughts.
Now instead of being immersed in thoughts, I'm on constant routine.
It goes like this. Medicated sleep, medicated wake up, medicated sleep, medicated wake up. And repeat. Day after day. Plus counseling every week.

It's like I'm on an assembly line. Going to each machine which break me or add onto me. All in hope to build a me fit for society. It's painful to to have them break pieces of myself away, then add on foreign things like new ideas and hope. It's something I'm not use to nor would I ever plan to be.

But like machinery, I feel c

Self harm - the reality

Self-harm is generally defined as acting to deliberately injure yourself physically. The exact form of harm varies, some forms being invisible or don't leave a wound, whereas others are visible, damaging the skin or other outer area. These visible forms (especially cutting) are seen as a more common form, but due to the secrecy held by many self-harmers regarding the activity and their reluctance to seek medical attention make it difficult to judge the real scale of self-harm.

Some people always harm using the same method, others use different methods based on what is available at the time or what will be easiest to hide. Some people who eng

Turning PointScribble it all down furiously. Tell them all your pain, your loneliness, your fears. Let them know that its all their fault. Every. Last. One.

"Fuck them all!" you scream in your head. They'll all see, just wait.
But then you halt in your writing.

Would they really miss you? You never really spoke to them, just knew that they all pissed you off for no reason.

Would word pass through the halls, only to be followed by a chorus of 'Who was she?'
And your friends, your so called friends. The ones that abandoned you when the shit hit the fan. The ones that never even talked to you until they needed something.

No, you decide, no one would

Internally Shattered

We're fractured, fragmented, internally shattered
Broken and fragmented, memories scattered.
Hear the echoes of nightmare screams.
See them clawing at me in my dreams
Cry for all children torn and tattered.
We're fractured, fragmented, internally shattered

We see the world battered and dark,
Hear screams and shouts hurt by each remark.
We wish to feel safe and secure
But the pain and fear we must endure,
Broken and fragmented, memories scattered.
We're fractured, fragmented, internally shattered

Rotating ThoughtsStained bedsheets
Scarred skin
Sad eyes.

Dirty fingernails
Long sleeves
Weary sighs.

Bloody tissues
Picked off scabs
Hysterical cries.

Racing thoughts
Feeling forgotten
Doctor's lies.

Shaking hands
Worried mother
Constant fears.

More distractions
Googling death
Hiding tears.

Avoiding socials
Cutting up
Downing beers.

Inner turmoil
Anger bleeds out
Ringing ears.

And stop.

Hope "Don't quit, suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion"

Every time I'm weak that's all I can think about,
every time I want to quit,
every time I feel like I can't go on.

its not a phrase I thought on my own,
I didn't even find it alone,
one night a friend told me that,
don't remember if I ever said thanks,
but I can only tell,
he's one that changed my life.

Don't quit on your dreams,
everything is possible,
look forward, and make your own outcome,
so

ConcentrateChaos
Playing at my mind
I can't think
Can't see the world around me
My mind moves on
Before I realise what I'm thinking
I can't think
Typing away
Then stopping because the thought is gone
It was there a moment ago
I can't think
Struggling to maintain control
Fighting to keep my head
Trying not to lose it all
I can't think
Thoughts playing through my head
There then gone
Were they ever even there?
I can't think
Repetitive thoughts
Not sure if they were there before
Over and over
I can't think

Soul DrownsFallen on the rugged earth
Gravity forcefully restrains you
To Trudge
Collapse
Into posessive sludge
Darkness
Vacous
The light of day Numbs
And fades dull
In deathly ecstacy
.. Soul
Drowns

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My Seperate PiecesMy mind so confusing, complicated
Swirls of mixed pieces, separated

Feelings taking shape, color
Parts of me take opposite sides, become names

They suggest to me different paths, destinies
Portray separate parts of me, facets

Becoming a swirling debate, hardened
Leading to self destruction, hate

Bringing me down, farther
Down into the depths of cold, heartlessness

The balance then evens, slowly
Bringing back a union, peace

A whole conversation within one body, one mind
Acting as one, balancing each other

Allowing the separate pieces to take part in life..

My Inner WolfMy fur rough and powerful.
Yet I quietly wait for my prey.
Wisely I wait lureful.
Im silent and lonely as I stay.

I do not feel like hurting others.
But I am concerned about all.
I must feed my brothers.
I will not stall.

I am beautiful and strong.
I wait in my mysterious mind self.
Im elusive so I do not wait long.
For the prey comes and Im in wealth.

Wealth of meat, family, and friends.
I see the others arround me.
But their help bends.
With the sadness I feel that be.

I am a wolf of power, strenghth, beauty and mystery.
Concerned about all, but quiet, elusive, wise, and strong as can be.

FearsI dont know why I feel so bad
I dont know why I feel so sad

Why I feel fear
sitting right here

numbness and pain
harder then freezing rain

unsteady, disy motions
Amongst all the comotions

At school I almost fell over
Like a wilting clover

Stuck in fear
being here

Inside my mind
I feel left behind

I cant focus at all
I want to withdrawl

Since I cant focus on the others comotion,
left out of communication,
thus good emotion.

I feel fuzy and tired
Like a child unwired

About to pass out
I feel fear and dout

Dout of my own strenghth
Fear at a tremendous lenghth

Still sitting here
cowering in fear

Of whats unknown
My asp

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My Creative Mind

by ~SwiftFalcon240, Jun 4, 2010, 11:38:49 PM
Literature / Poetry / Human Nature / Free Verse

I used to be so quiet
My thoughts race in my mind
Hidden by a blank stare

Created my own reality
I would think of the most creative adventures
While I sat in class looking out the window

I made my realities come to life
I learned to create my own video games
To create my realities on paper through writting and drawing

Others noticed my creativity
I made the works marvelous
The once dry text only I understood
Became full of description and vibrant imagery

Yet still I struggle
To do what Im asked when things are not done
I cannot put a drawing down
I cannot leave my poem unfinished

I become frusterated
My mind cannot leave unfinished work
I try to leave it
I hide it from myself
When I come back to it
I hate the work Ive done.
--------------------------

I have ADD and maybe some autism.
I hope to share this work with others,
to help them see that their diffrerences can be used to create beautiful work!

My Creative Mindby ~SwiftFalcon240

Literature / Poetry / Human Nature / Free Verse

I wanted to share my struggle with ADD and possibally minor Autism and how I have used it to be creative and make awesome artwork, writting, and poetry. ^_^

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=Awentia Oct 9, 2011 Traditional Artist

I can relate to you completely. It reminds me a lot of myself... I can't leave ANYTHING unfinished. It bugs me. But I'm so slow and forgetful that it's hard to get stuff done.

~thepoeticheart Jul 8, 2011

I am so with you on this... I have ADD and it has drastically effected my life. Of course switch possible minor autism with disassociation of reality and thats totally me...

I love the poem though! ^.^

~LovexxxLife Dec 11, 2010

This reminds me of myself so much. I have ADHD.

*shadowlight-oak Aug 5, 2010 Hobbyist Photographer

You have been featured: [link]

~changeling87 Jun 17, 2010

thank you

!BrokenxCarnage Jun 10, 2010

I can relate completely with this and it is so accurately written!

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My Creative Mind

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